pollyamik

I promise angel. I will make this night. the night you will always remember. the night that you will never forget. the night you will be up screaming about. with your fingers six inches inside you. as to beg for remembrance. I will be the best thing ever done to you . but the worst thing that has ever happend. tonight will be the night you will be searching for for the rest of your life. tonight will be the scars on your body. the disappointment every time someone touches you. and when you have no where else  to search the noose around your neck like my lips on your throat. now close your eyes. and let me love you to death.

.Sometimes i cant tell if i hear voices in my head. Or if i am the voices. But either way. We are simply the same person taking control of each other.

Standing face to face with the devil. In a court room called a church. Where your judged for your sins. And doomed from birth. In fire you will burn. And in Hell you will rest. This court room augured. And your life sentence set.

Memories. Flashbacks. Of pain. Confusion. Tied down and raped. Tied up and beat. Bruises. Cuts. From my head to my feet. Every time i got drunk. Every time i got high. Id hide in my bed and cry. Cover my mouth and scream that i wanted to die. But its now been five years and till now i had those memories forgot. Till i met you. Till i told you. Till you took it personally. Took it to heart And now that you know its ripping me apart. you talk about it. You sing about it. as if it was some casual thing you were pissed about. its been five years of nothing now all i can do is think about it.

Know iv been fine for almost six years. No sleepless nights No tears. No unneeded memories. I didn't feel emotion. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. I could express it outward . But never feel it. Some questioned my sanity. But it didn't matter to me all the same. But that night you touched me. And if felt so much the same. That it all came back to me in a wave of pure agony and pain. Now my nights are often sleepless. and tears i now cry. Now i look back and wish i haden't told you. That i could have just lied. Cause i was fine till you were by my side. Helping me?. Saving me?. Your trying to justify the thing that created me. In not saying what he did

Your Fate. I wont rest until your bones are dust. This is the pursuit of your lust driven hate. Your plead for forgiveness but its to late So close your eyes and take whats coming to you This is your fate. The day you die is the day i will close my eyes. Inside i know its not my place. But it wouldn't be hard. The pain your have inflicted. Now you have been Convicted. By the end of the day you will be preying for hell. And you will welcome it with open arms. For what you have done will be done to you. You plead innocent but we know its true. Knowing your alive puts my mind at ease. Because hell would be to easy and heavens out of reach. Yo

I've been abused. Used. Raped. How much can i take? Molested. And to you i just confessed this. I've slit my wrists. For every empty wish. I've been abandon. Left. You think your better then the last best? Lies. Tears. The pain killing me over the years. Scars. Bruises. And im the one who losses. Now i feel nothing. Fear nothing. Trust. Love. Safety. Are all just works you used to make me. Cry. Die. Sin. Put that knife to her arm and close her eyes to watch it all end.

I woke up. As a young child. Still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes  my child hood was taken from me. And the pain followed as I set my teen feet on the cold floor. Standing up into my friends arms I see the sun coming up. I sit down at the breakfast table running my head hungover for the night before. I push my chair away and cut my wrists. Music screaming in my ear.   Get up and I'm off to work, my two jobs. Pay my bills. It's time for lunch she wants to kill herself. In mid day and I'm to blame? I'm to blame..? The short years of my life have been devoted to her happiness. But you pushed me away. Ok.. I swolow it down. Just waiting for ni